Hi fam! You may have noticed I dropped off the face of the internet this year. I did a big New Years post and then poof nothing till May. I remember that being a very good month. I wrote regularly, streamed every time I planned to, and generally felt like things were getting back on track. But then I got sick and never came back. Part of it was burnout. Being in pain every other day (on average) takes its toll. My focus became using my time not spent at work to relax, catch up on tv, and wait until I got better. If I knew that would mean taking the rest of the year off, I truly don’t know what I would have done. But you can’t change the past, so there’s no point in dwelling on it.
I started this by writing a script for a YouTube video, but, real talk, I don’t think I can talk about this year without being on the verge of tears. This year took a lot out of me. I’m trying to focus on the good, but I had so many plans for this year and did none of them. For one, this will be the first year I don’t meet my reading challenge since I started doing them. I didn’t even come close. I also started my favorite game on stream but I’m still in Act 1 and have no idea when I’m going back to it. According to my twitch recap, I streamed a total of 8 times for the entire year. I knew it wouldn’t be great, but that was worse than any of my expectations.
So what about next year? Honestly, I can’t worry about that now. I’m currently living one day at a time. I’m making plans for 2024 because I honestly don’t know what next year holds, but I feel fairly confident that I will have either fixed my problems or found coping mechanisms for them by then. I hope to take a second crack at that reading challenge and get back to sharing my joy with you on Twitch. I hope to finally put together some long held plans for the YouTube channel. But now, in this moment, I can’t even begin to think about that.
I’m sorry this entry was kind of a downer. I knew I didn’t have a lot of good to recap, but I didn’t want to not acknowledge where I’ve been either. Consider this my “I’m still alive” post.
That’s all for now. Don’t forget to hydrate, take your meds, enjoy some yummy foods, and take care of yourself. I appreciate everyone who has given me the patience and support I needed while I deal with everything. Here’s to 2023 going a little easier on us.