*Do I really have to say it? Spoilers ahead, people*
We left off last week with Patrick cornering Angie and saying he needed a favor. This week we start with the flashback that explains how Angie dropped out of college and joined the eco group that Patrick ran. She built him a bomb, but didn’t like the results so she ran. We learn the favor previously mentioned is this: he wants her to make him another bomb.
The rest of Wisteria lane isn’t quite as happening, but there are still stories to tell. Lynette is starting to get suspicious with Eddie’s mother missing, but not nearly suspicious enough. She still sees him as this sweet kid, instead of the monster he truly is. Just you wait, Lynette. You’ll find out soon enough…
Gaby and Carlos looked to be the comic relief for the night, but it was just a red herring. They started off fighting about Gaby’s lasagna, but this quickly turned into Gaby getting caught in the middle of Angie’s problems.
Susan and Mike are still dealing with their financial troubles. It turns out some of the problem is that Mike didn’t request payment up-front from some of his customers. Susan decides she is going to get them to pay up by guilting them into it.
Bree is still trying to figure out how to deal with Sam. Andrew seems to be the only one who isn’t scared of him. Orson comes up with the idea to offer Sam a large sum of money to make him go away.
And all that was just the beginning. Intrigued? Well hold onto your hats, kids. Because this week was full of twists and turns down Wisteria Lane.
Let’s start with Lynette. The police discover Irina’s body in the woods and visit Lynette’s house looking for Porter. They want to ask him a few questions, but he is on a camping trip with his brother. Know who is at the house though? Eddie. And he overhears everything. So he decides he is going to move back home, claiming he doesn’t want to get in their way during these difficult times. Lynette says she thinks of him as family and he should stay. I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Why are you so dumb, Lynette?!” I quickly changed my tune when she hugged Eddie goodbye though. I actually feel sorry for her now that she is getting attached to him. Especially when she finds out the truth… but that comes later.
Next I’m going to shock you by actually talking about my favorite story early in the recap instead of “saving the best for last”. This is mostly because Gaby had some crossover here and she was next on my list. First I would like to say that Patrick actually seems delusional enough that he honestly believes his plans to blow more things up is the best solution to saving the planet. This is what he and Angie are fighting about when Gaby knocks on the door, asking Angie for her lasagna recipe. Way to walk in at the worst possible moment, Gabs. I loved Patrick’s line at the end of this scene though. “You know how to make a bomb and you haven’t used one on her yet?” Classic. Eventually Danny comes home and finds his mother handcuffed to the bed. He says he got a text message from her telling him to come home, but it turns out that Patrick was the one who really sent it to trick him out of hiding. He also says that Danny is the “piece that was missing,” referring to a conversation the two of them had in the coffee shop. Patrick apparently tells Danny that they are father and son, but most of this happens off-screen. We only got the end of the conversation to let us know it had happened. I was disappointed we didn’t get to see the whole thing for ourselves. A word of advice for Patrick though – telling your son about your relationship while you have him tied to a chair… you are sooooo not winning Father of the Year for that one. And trying to make his real parents look bad because they lied? Please tell me that doesn’t work on him. I mean, he has to realize you were dangerous and they were just trying to protect him… right? And finally, way to go Gaby walking into the worst situation ever… AGAIN. So much for Gaby being the comic relief for the evening. Angie tries sneaking a note in the lasagna she brings over, but Gaby throws it out without noticing it. Lucky for us her girls are hungry, hungry hippos and dig it out of the trash. They find the note that was hidden inside, “Danny and I held hostage. No cops. Get Nick.” Looks like Gaby is officially involved in the outcome of this story.
Gaby isn’t the only one in a dangerous situation though. For that matter, the only one who isn’t dealing with life-or-death stuff is Susan. I’m sorry but her storyline seems really weak compared to what the rest of the ladies have to deal with. Real quick: she goes to all Mike’s customers and gets them to cough up the money they owe. Yeah it was fun watching her threaten everyone (especially the lady with the Hummels) but other than that this story has been underwhelming. Even when she tells everyone she is moving off of Wisteria Lane, I wasn’t that worried about her. I mean, she is moving to an apartment nearby, so it doesn’t mean she is leaving the show. That would have made for a different story.
Moving on to more important matters… Bree tries to get Sam to leave after handing him a large sum of money, but that doesn’t work according to plan. (I know, *shock*and*awe*, right?) Sam merely rips up the check and says she can’t buy him off. Oh, and let’s not forget the threats. “If you ever insult me again you’re going to wish you hadn’t.” Bree dishes it as well as she can take it though. She introduces him to a couple of ex-cops that she catered retirement parties for. The image of Sam sitting between these two rather large, threatening men as they told stories about the things they could do to make someone hurt was wonderful. The best was them casually letting him know they knew where he lives. That’ll teach Sam to mess with Bree Hodge. Or so we thought… Instead he takes it up to the next level. He tells Bree he wants her to sell him the company and uses knowledge he learned about Andrew running Carlos’ mother over as leverage. Looks like there’s more trouble ahead for this family.
Going back to Lynette now… Preston gets cleared for Irina’s murder but feels guilty for bringing her to America in the first place. Meanwhile, Lynette overhears that the police found the body of Eddie’s mother. She goes to tell Eddie about this, but he mentions having just talked to his mother before Lynette gets the chance to say anything. This makes Lynette think they must have made a mistake and she’s not really dead. When Eddie hears about them finding the body though, his reaction tells Lynette that he lied about talking to her. Now she is about to see what Eddie really is.
To be continued…
It occurs to me that a lot needs to happen in the last episode of the season (which is next week). We have Patrick’s endgame for starters, which could be the whole hour easy. And what happened to him affecting the lives of everyone on Wisteria Lane? It definitely said that in multiple interviews that John Barrowman did after announcing he got the part. So far only Gaby has gotten involved. And what about Lynette? We all know she has to go into labor while Eddie has her, right? Hopefully this kid shows he has a heart and helps her when the time comes. As for Bree, she still has to deal with Sam’s threat to her family. Does she give in to his demands for ownership of the company? Or does she find some way to stop him from spilling what he knows about Andrew? I don’t see how they are going to get through it all. Obviously some of it will carry over into the next season, but most of it should happen in the next episode. I guess we’ll just have to tune in next week to find out how it all ends.